Archive for July, 2012

Happy 4th ya Draggers

Posted: July 4, 2012 by fillmydelphia in Uncategorized

America kicks ass, doesn’t it?  Today we celebrate the American soldiers 5-goaling the British Empire in the American Revolution. It is because of these old school danglers that we have the freedom today to stay out on the ice for an extra shift or 2, even when our coaches are screaming for us to get a line change. It is because of these danglers that we have the freedom to throw a beauty forehand-backhand top shelf and not have to worry about getting taxed for it. Needless today, without the signing of the Declaration, there could have been no Miracle on Ice and no Brian Leetch. And that shit would suck.

One of the most important contracts in the history of the world was signed on this date 236 years ago. Our great nation was picked up as a free agent from the British Empire, and boom, America signed a big ass, long term deal with no trade clause. To be honest, I really hope that Parise and Suter don’t make their decisions today because trying to out-do the contract America signed on July 4, 1776 is the impossible. Unless John Hancock himself is in the room with either of them to sign the contract, that shit should have to wait until tomorrow, at least doe.

So once again, Happy 4th you sons of bitches. Thanks so far for letting Toe Drag get to where it is today, and Let’s Gooooooo.

USA

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What up draggers? It’s been a while, but it’s about that time for us here at Toe Drag to pick this shit up again, so lets just jump right into it. This years free agency is about as entertaining as a Charlotte Bobcats game. Moves have been hard to come by, and that’s mainly because of two men. By now everyone and their mothers know who Zach Parise and Ryan Suter are, and what they are, are straight hockey fan boner killers. Now I understand that they are making life changing decisions, cause wherever these two beauts decide to play is basically gonna be their home for the majority of their career, but can you two speed this process up? Everyone is waiting on you two. I was so ready sit in front of my TV all day and listen to James Duthie and his terrible jokes as this madness ensued. Well that plan backfired. Nothing about this free agency has been entertaining, and as the rest of this day passes I can pretty much assure everyone that if Parise and Suter don’t decide which teams they want to play for by tonight, it is definitely not happening on the 4th. Parise will have more important things to do, like grillin’ some burgers and poundin’ a few brews with his buddies. So please gents, let’s make this decision by tonight, so we can blow up twitter.

By the way, my predictions for the two..

Parise – Pen’s or Wild, and I’m leaning more toward the Pen’s which sucks, cause him a Crosby are gonna be nasty

Suter- Detroit or Philly

PS – About a 10 % chance they go to the same team

First Lindros, now Jagr.

Posted: July 3, 2012 by fillmydelphia in Uncategorized

“I just scammed Dallas out of $4.5 mil” (In broken english of course)

The Dallas Stars are time and time again proving that when they want to make a move, they go out there and make it. The only problem is that they don’t get around to it until its 5-10 years too late. If anybody ever says that Eric Lindros wasn’t the most dominant player in his hay-day, that person should be roundhoused to the nuts. But when Big E started to fall off a little, he made a trip to New York and Toronto and did virtually nothing. And then Dallas realized that this Lindros guy was pretty good so gave him a contract. What happened? The power-dangler ended his career before the hillbillies in Texas even realized he put on the jersey.

It’s a shame that Jagr will most likely have the same outcome. He impressed everyone in Philly early on with his skills, but the biggest impact he had was obviously in the locker room with all da yung buhls. Now Jags is in Dallas where god damn newly acquired Derek Roy belongs to the younger half of the team. Derek Roy was in NHL 2001 for the original Playstation for Christ’s sake. There is hardly anyone on this team for Jagr to have an impact on and there is hardly any way that this Dallas Stars team can do anything worth while this season. But hey, at least he doesn’t have to hang out with Steve Ott on the reg. That guy is a douche.

Nicklas Grossmann is Gross, Man

Posted: July 3, 2012 by fillmydelphia in Uncategorized

More Flyers updates here. With Philadelphia picking up Luke Schenn via trade and Danny Syvret via Free Agency, it is time to look at the defensive unit as a whole. And we are talking about looks here people.

League-wide, it is commonly accepted that Anze Kopitar is the ugliest player in the NHL. Nothing against his mitts, dangles and wheels. But based on looks alone, Kopitar is standing in the corner by himself when he goes out to the bar before he puts on his name tag. (Obviously the ladies flock to him once they realize who he is). All of that aside, it seems that the Flyers are trying to emulate the Kings method for success by up-ing the ugly factor in the locker room.

Grossmann is someone to be feared. If your going 1-on-1 into the corner with him, it would be advised to just curl up and drop to the ice. But regardless, the dude is just terrible looking.

ew

If Radulov Cared. A new segment.

Posted: July 3, 2012 by fillmydelphia in Uncategorized

Fugg It

Welcome to the first segment of “If Radulov Cared”. This segment will look at a player, coach, general manager, entire team, etc. who exemplifies everything that typical hockey critics despise, but what we here at Toe Drag Hockey thrive on. Players like Radulov just don’t give a shit about anything about making moneys and toe-dragging honeys. Sure, a bunch of assists each year are going to up your stock in the NHL over some period of time, but why set up the plays when you can be shelfing beauties and getting paid time-and-half in the KHL. You gotta respect the guy from realizing that sometimes, the dream just isn’t for everybody.

So it only makes sense that for the spotlight of today’s “If Radulov Cared”, we will take a moment to celebrate Alex Radulov’s complete disregard for the National Hockey League. We’ve all had the dream of making it to the NHL, and when Radulov turned that dream into reality, he bailed for “greener” pastures. Like a Boss.

Flyers Win Danny Syvret Sweepstakes

Posted: July 3, 2012 by fillmydelphia in Uncategorized

What a beaut

So far, this NHL Free Agency Period has been a tad boring. Players aren’t making decisions and insiders are hardly even trying to break rumors anymore. But finally, the Philadelphia Flyers have made an acquisition that is the Blockbuster deal of the summer. The “Broad Street Bullies” have signed D-Man Danny Syvret, bringing him back to the Flyers organization. The city couldn’t be happier.

Now that Syvret is inked up, it seems that the rest of the dominoes will fall into place. Teams and Free Agents have been waiting to see where Syvret would end up and just how much money he would accrue before they made any further decisions. Thankfully, with Flyers finally making this move, the rest of the Free Agency period will become the Frenzy that has been promised to the fans.

P.S. – With Danny Syvret manning the blue line, it appears that the Flyers are the clear favorites to win Lord Stanley’s Cup next season.